I am now in Duluth with my mother.
First news of my mother, then the travel challenges and blessings getting here.
My mother is in hospice care at a nursing home that she moved into a few weeks ago after being discharged from a rehab center (from her fall down the stairs and broken fibula and tiba mid August). Mom recognized me with a smile, and I recognized the Tarangire Safari Lodge T-shirt she was wearing (one of my favorite places in the world!).
We can get some smiles and fewer understandable words. We’ve figured out a sign for wanting lip balm, but most of the communication is trying to figure it out. Yesterday, Dad and I arrived about noon. Dad and I fed mom some enriched ice-cream-like dessert. She had about half of it over the afternoon. We add water either by a little sponge or the tip of a straw releasing a bit of water held in by the vacuum from our finger at the other end. The challenge is to know how much to give as her body is slowing way down. She went to the hospital 1.5 weeks ago for being severely dehydrated. She is still not well hydrated, so I continue with the little sponges in what seems to be a reasonable frequency, but I’m not quite sure.
Generally, Mom is peaceful and comfortable. There are some basic discomforts of dry lips and mouth that I keep attending to. I found some special lotion and gave a bit of a face and hand massage. I gently brushed out some snarls in her hair, as I told stories of my memories of her brushing my hair in Hong Kong. The rule was, then, that you could only say ouch 2 times. On the third ouch, she would quit. However, I remember saying the 3 ouch once. I didn’t go to school with only 1 pig tail though. She took compassion on me a 5 or 6-year-old. I think she would not have for my older sisters who were more capable in doing their own hair. Her smiles and sighs of satisfaction are some of her strongest communication tools.
I face-timed (video chat on iPhones) with my two sisters. Elenn, in Michigan has been here at least 3 times in the 3 months, and she’ll come again on Thursday or Friday. Her physician expertise is only a text or phone call away. Faith was here from San Diego for 8 days last month and gave a huge amount of support for Dad.
I spent the night here, and a roll-a-way bed was made available, which was better than my first attempt to sleep in the arm chairs. I’m still jetlagged, so I’m going to take the night shift as Dad and I will start the vigil. I don’t want her to be alone.
This morning, I showed some pictures of Sweden and Norway on my laptop. She seems to enjoy the pictures. I just raised Mom’s hospital bed and put her glasses on her so she can see the beautiful sunrise out the window.
She has a nice view of woods and a peek of Lake Superior in the 3-year-old Benedictine health care center that is just 1 mile from my parents’ home. Dad will come today, and I’ll do some work by email and grade some papers.
Time for a nap. More later.
With blessings,
Beth
So glad you can be there, for all of you, and it will be memories for a lifetime. Our prayers and love continue. Greet your family; we walk with them albeit from a distance in this final and last transition for you Mom. Love the snow; nothing like that MN sunrise over Lake S.
Beth, I’m so glad you could be there at this time. It’s also wonderful that you can reminisce ‘together’ and I’m sure your dad appreciates it as well. Maybe Anya could video chat with Gramma as well.
Hi Beth, I too, am so grateful that is has worked out for you to be there for your mom and dad, and for yourself as well!! God give you strength for the time; you are a special gift to them at this time. If ever you have time for a phone chat, you know how to reach us. Also, since we’re not far away, if there is anything you need or want help with, PLEASE let us know. Much love from the two of us.