Those who know me well know my planning/administrator side. I analyze the critical path and make a plan, always adjusting with new information and more details. It is what makes me a good administrator and causes me to be unsettled at times with international travel. So, I’m up early this morning, as I can’t sleep. My mind is racing.
I tried all my tricks I learned after Eric’s death, as I didn’t sleep through the night for almost 10 months. None of the tricks worked in the wee hours of this morning, so I might as well make myself productive and tackle the task list that is keeping me up.
An international move is a major deal, but it seems very different from when we moved to Tanzania in 2002. I miss having an adult partner to talk things over and come up with a collaborative and better plan. Anya is rising to help with tasks and some idea exchange, but I have to be careful that there isn’t too much expectation of or responsibility upon a 16-year-old. In this stage of adolescence, sometimes she is a surprisingly mature young adult and sometimes she’s a kid who needs a mom to help her cope with life. The trick for parenting is knowing what she needs at that moment, as it can change multiple times a day.
Likewise, sometimes she is distant and needs to deepen her own sense of independence–a natural and healthy part of development, and sometimes she is deeply engaging and conversational. I’ve learned to respect the former, and when the latter shows up, I try to drop everything and turn my total attention to her, savoring the sweetness of the moment.
Anya’s end of the year track banquet was last night. It was a three hour program because of a large track team with many sub-teams. Anya’s pole-vaulting coach, Amy, was wonderful! She was Anya’s favorite gymnastics coach, so Anya had her as a coach for 2/3rds of the year, which was a tremendous blessing. You could tell that Amy had a great rapport with all her vaulters, but I know that Anya was special. It was hard for Anya to say goodbye to her last night.
My days are also filled with steaming the banners for our Tanzanian mission team. These were the banners that Anya and her friend, Annaliese, worked on so hard over Spring Break. Each one has to be in a 212 degree steaming chamber for 2.5 hours.
So, I babysit the steamer and work on my task list: decluttering, packing, Swedish language learning, logistics for Tanzania and Sweden, and bits of my dissertation revision.
Unfortunately, the New York based publisher uses British English and European punctuation, so I have to do quite a bit of piddly revisions on my dissertation.
So, I’m wondering… Will I be in Sweden for the rest of my life? If so, I need to ruthlessly downsize. If not, I can put more stuff in my garage. For example, do I take family pictures that hung on the wall out of their picture frames and send the frames to the thrift store? Or do I put them with frames in a box and put them in storage under the stairs (away from the temperature extremes of the garage)? What about bedding?
Then there will be renters that are moving into the upstairs, do they need furnishings and household items? Shall I leave the fireplace poker set? Would they enjoy having the piano? I should find out more soon on this, as we have a nephew and wife of our contractor friends who have done quite a bit of work on this house (originally enclosing our carport into a garage for storage when we went to Tanzania, but also new windows, front door, bathroom floor, and a kitchen remodel with great custom cabinets).
I am getting rid of Boomer’s dog crate and dog food bin today through Freecycle. It is like the free portion of Craig’s list. It is an easy way to pass on stuff to people who want it. I will send clothing and other items to a thrift store and get a bit of a tax deduction (but with no salary this year, it may only be a little financial benefit).
A few days ago, I was able to put some scrap from previous home projects into a neighbor’s dumpster. They just had their roof redone, so I could fill the corners with some things and save a dump run. I sold them my Toyota pick up, so I could just use the truck for a few larger things.
I have a lot of books that need to be passed on. I think I’ll drop of Anya and the books at Half Price Books in our neighborhood mall and make her be the one to stay while they process the books. She can read or do things with the WIFI there.
Marv is going to help me put in a divider wall in the garage in a few days. That will give me storage space while leaving access to the exit from the kitchen through the garage for safety and a place to put the mower.
This is a little late in posting, but still an insight into these past week or so.
With blessings,
Beth