Anya had a great day! She was invited to fika (coffee/tea often with pastries) with two classmates, one from South Africa and one who commutes from Stockholm by bullet train every day. After lunch, her art class went to Stockholm on the train to visit the Moderna Museet (The Museum of Modern Art).
Thanks to all who have been praying for her transition here.
Today, I had an interesting conversation over breakfast with my hosts, Jim, born and raised in the USA, and Kristina, his wife, a Swede who has lived in the USA for many years. We pondered the generally retrained Scandinavian culture and it’s Midwestern-USA cousin. I grew up in a loving family but one that didn’t talk much about feelings. Some of my development as an adult has been growth in this area, as well as being willing to show weakness and ask for help. Going through the cancer journey with Eric was part of this journey as well as the transformation that came through understanding the theology of the cross–basically a biblical understanding of grace–which frees us from the religious baggage that is co-dependent with our human nature.
While there are wonderful examples of people here who have a willingness to be authentic–i.e., including sharing weaknesses–I’ve been informed that contemporary Swedish culture highly values being in control, not showing weakness, and not needing help, because it is a sign of weakness. Feelings are not often expressed, though I hear it is OK to express that you feel stressed, but feeling frustrated (and beyond) is “not very Swedish.”
I’m still new, and so this is only a beginning understanding of a culture with many exceptions. However, I’m wondering how to be sensitive to the general culture in order to not make others uncomfortable. However, I know that I need to find ways to be me and celebrate the emotional development I’ve come to cherish.
For a glimpse of what I’m pondering, check out this Ted Talk by Brene’ Brown (though it is lacking the fullness of the theology of the cross to undergird it–though sometime I may discuss that more).
With blessings,
Beth
Just returned from a few days up at Lake Ki, Jane’s place. So good to read your posts. We thank God for you both and God’s provision of friends and conversations with Jim and his wife.
You are in our prayers; we send our love.
Just listened to “The Power of Vulnerability.” It was great. Thank you.
I discovered Brene many years ago and loved her talk. I’m afraid I would be at a loss trying to be Swedish. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so to speak, and find it both incredibly embarrassing at times to show so much vulnerability but also cleansing to be able to be real and honest.
I asked for prayer for our coffee shop today and ended up sharing a story that caused me to cry publicly(gasp) but afterward the body came to me in sweet ways and comforted me. I wouldn’t have experienced that otherwise.
Do what you gotta do and be who you gotta be.